Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Those 3 little words...

"I Love You"

Today there was light at the end of a very dark tunnel. Ollie is awake! Knowing I could tell him "I love you" again and seeing him respond was a breakthrough moment. I was ever so hopeful of this moment, but the dark side of the situation would creep its way into my mind. Never knowing if he would ever hear those words again or feel my love through a kiss and a snuggle was truly the most heartache I have ever endured. Now, I must patiently wait to hold my baby again. I told him over and over, "I love you" while tears streamed down my face. Mommy's little mister, daddy's little bubba, big brother's "butter" was back and full of life! 

Ollie has a long way to go before he is out of the woods. We don't live day to day...we live hour by hour because Ollie likes to be challenging. Ollie is our little miracle who is going to make a significant difference in our world. Doctors are learning and planning to educate others from his case. Ollie's heart condition has only been seen three other times in the world, but there is not any information on any of the three cases. Like I have always said... Ollie is here for reason beyond what I can explain! 

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Tidbits about Ollie <3

Now that I have a little bit of sleep under my belt (not that I'm functioning any better, but just maybe my words won't be quite as jumbled together) I can finally explain what is going on with Ollie. On Tuesday, Ollie had open heart surgery to repair the Tetralogy of Fallot, vascular ring, and right-sided aortic arch. Ollie also has another heart defect known as Ebstein's anomaly, but they decided against doing any repairs to this defect. Since his surgery, Ollie has developed a condition known as heart block which requires a dual pacemaker in his case. Doctors have no explanation as to why Ollie has developed this condition, but are waiting to see if it is possible that his Ebstein's anomaly is playing a part in how his heart mechanically functions. As of right now it's a waiting game to see if his heart will decide to function it's rate and rhythm on its own. Periodically, the doctors have turned off the pacemaker to see how his heart is functioning and so far, it has resulted in flatlining. All we can do now is play the waiting for a few days and then make a new plan...as the surgeon stated, "frustrating". I warned him before surgery that Ollie loves to throw curveballs and to be prepared. The surgeon now knows what I was trying to warn him about. Ollie has been on an up and down roller coaster since surgery, but we are staying hopeful for his recovery. 

"Lord, I know not all prayers are answered, but many are, so I continue to petition you, for you are my hope. Amen"

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Just a little note...

As I sit here and stare at my baby boy tonight, my mind begins to wonder. So many emotions....so hard to stand tall. Though, I know his strength and will to fight will keep me going by his side. I want to ask "why him?" yet I know he was born for a reason that outshines any questionable thought running through my head. We all take for granted our health and how lucky we are when we have a healthy child. Never in a million years would I have thought I would be in a CVICU pacing a room with my child not knowing what each minute is to bring. I can't help watching the clock closely as I hear the ticking of each passing second I have with this amazing, precious life. In the past seven months, Ollie has forever changed our lives in the most positive way. As always...Keep Calm and CHARGE on!